When family patterns go unresolved they persist from generation to generation. Our emotional development is based on the health or lack of in the environment in which we were raised. These patterns can manifest as mirrored images or we may engage in the behavior on the opposite end of our parents’ spectrum. If we were deprived of affection as a child, we may smother our own children, or we may carry that same pattern forward and be emotionally distant from our children. Either way our behavior as parents is greatly influenced by how we were parented. Often the traumatic experiences we had in childhood are buried beneath our social selves. They revisit when we experience pressure, transition, or when our children reach the same age as when we were traumatized.
We tend to ignore this reality by sedating ourselves with television, personal drama, substances, social media and other addictions. Often our traumas are so deeply buried in our subconscious that we may not have access to them. This causes confusion and loss of control sending us deeper into our addictions. Depending on the severity of our trauma or the fragility of our psyche we can make it through life skimming across the surface and getting done what needs to get done. But, sometimes these unacknowledged traumas and fragilities can have devastating effects upon our closest relationships. The sins of the parents are visited upon our children.
Delving into a deep exploration of familial patterns can feel like opening Pandora’s Box. It is scary. We are challenged by the lifelong belief that we must not question. With careful and supportive guidance we can embark upon the journey into our past to find wholeness in the present.